what defines true love???

So basically I started this so I don't have to regale my friends and family with tales of woe, I just want to sent my complaints and rants into the anonymous ethers and what ever will be will be. So I will begin: This is my question of the day... what is love? I mean the love between a man and a woman??? What defines it and makes it real and legitimate?? Say for instance (and of course this is all hypothetical) I had been married, and this man allegedly loved me enough to walk down the proverbial isle with me and swear on the bible that he loved me yadda yadda yadda...you get the picture right?? he swears he wants to buy a house and start a family live the middle class life of boredom and mediocrity.... Then once married comes up with a million and one excuses not to do all of the above??? Not to mention a secret love child and a married lover (but this is all hypothetical, and that would be a story for another time anyway) Then say I (hypothetically) years later were to hook up with a man who was devoted, understanding, loving, supported me in my endeavors to continue my education, achieve financial independence, who calls every day (going on 6 years now) and in all my 40 years on the earth is the most perfect person (for me) except for the fact that he's married and is never ever going to leave his wife??? NOW forget the fact that I am F'd up.... that is obvious....we come into the adult world with issues and do the best we can to live our lives...and I am no different... is there space for this kind of "love" in the world...people say it's selfish, immature...but is it if he stays married??? no disruption on the homefront?? he goes home every night and brings his paycheck with him...well a person could go on forever with this argument...Infidelity has been around for as long as people have been, and it will never go away...and what I'm saying is that of course it would be best to not do it...to be in a close and loving relationship with your spouse...but what if you couldn't be??? Have you sentenced yourself to a lifetime of loneliness after you say till death do us part?? if after 30 years of marriage you grow into two separate people??? with separate lives??? There are plenty of scorned women, and (no offence bible thumping Christians) who I am pretty sure will not like this post but, the world is not, not, not black and white as much as we would like it to be, as easy as it would make things to just know that "this is just the way things are" but life is messy. Sometime the best we can hope for is to do the least possible amount of damage, while trying to gain some happiness out of our rapidly passing lives...

Lisa